Part 67: Japanese Version Comparisons, with contributions from user Polsy
~Japanese Version Comparisons with user Polsy~Regarding the “Heart of Serving” line from Arie’s Level 1 Bonding Event
The heart of serving… That sounds like a difficult concept to grasp.Polsy: I would've been willing to put this down to 'separate people were translating each half of this conversation' (for some reason) and one of them decided 'the heart of serving' was bad, if it wasn't for the fact she then goes ahead and says it anyway later on.
More literally her first line here is something like 'If it's for the sake of someone else, as long as you have a heart of serving* putting in the effort isn't a problem' so really their translation of that line would be fine, if they'd actually written the others parts to be consistent with it.
* this should probably be something like 'the will to serve' regardless, but there's plenty of options to make this sound less weird that they didn't take
Regarding Farun’s accent/dialect + The fate of animals at Sue’s ranch
Psycho Knight posted:
“I don’t know Japanese well enough to tell if Farun’s lines are written with a “Kansai Accent” in mind, or if they are just generally informal. The localization seems to treat it as such though, with the way that Farun’s lines have been translated.”
She's just informal and I feel like the localisation is leaning on that a little too hard. Granted it's not as easy to be explicitly informal in English but even so.
Speaking of the Sue scene
Psycho Knight posted:
“Whoa, whoa. Hold up. What about the cow that is clearly there in the background? Does she not have a name?”
The Japanese guy whose video I was looking at noted the very audible pig also disappears here. Kind of weird considering there's a second named sheep later on anyway.
Odd word choice for describing Sakura Petals – Flower Viewing Event Intro during Update IV
PK Note: This refers to the part where Itsuki describes Sakura petals to Mana as being a “pale crimson” colour and I questioned why Itsuki doesn’t just say “pink” right away.
Polsy: Unsurprisingly this is down to translation and could have been worked around better. Japanese Itsuki never says pink*, his backup plan is to say 'it's like a pale peach colour'.
* there's actually no native Japanese word that exactly means 'pink' but even in 2012 using the English loanword was very common so I don't know why they didn't just go with that. Other than to line up another pervert Mana gag.
The dialogue confuses the localisation team and Mana ends up addressing Itsuki for no reason – Happens during Update V
PK Note: Mana randomly says “Oho, you seem happy that Mahiru was complimented about being the best in class. And by that cheesy teacher of hers too.” The problem is that Official Itsuki had just responded to Mahiru with “Can’t argue there.” So, Mana ends up addressing Itsuki with a nonsense comment that doesn’t follow the flow of the conversation.
Polsy: I'm pretty sure Mana's line is meant to be directed at Mahiru. Japanese grammar effectively removes the 'you' and 'hers' from that sentence so it's technically ambiguous, but
- as noted, it doesn't make sense
- Mahiru is the one who replies to this
- in Conception (this was taken out in Plus, I assume for Mahiru personality reasons) Itsuki has a longer response to the 'it's just to get back to our world' line, which Mahiru responds to, which means she's also the last one to speak before Mana says that.
An example of the kind of cuts that were made to Mahiru in order to rework her personality for Plus
PK Note: The weird cuts made to Mahiru’s events happen throughout the game, but the particular moments below are referring to her first few bonding events.
Polsy: There was definitely more dialogue between 'I'm learning how to make sweets' and 'can I take your order' otherwise I would've noticed those were basically the same comment about her speech.
M - I’m helping out with the register while learning how to make sweets.
I - It looks like you're really enjoying life in Granvania
M - I'm just trying to pass the time. There's no point brooding over it
M - So, can I take your order, sir?
I - Gonna be honest, it’s pretty nice to have you address me like that. Nice change of pace.
M - Just shut up and give me your order ticket
I - I didn't come here to eat, I came to see you
M - More like you came to get in my way
I - I didn't. Am I in the way?
M - Look behind you and you'll understand (slightly edited in the Plus dialogue)
I - Where the hell did they all come from?
M - If you don't want anything then move aside. Otherwise you'll make me angry
I – Sorry
M - Next customer please. Thank you for waiting [continues as normal]
There's probably more edits to the bonding events than I expected if I went through them line-by-line, the parts I'd looked at before now were basically identical but I guess it varies depending on what's story-critical and untouchable (the promise, presumably) and what they want to edit for personality reasons.
Actually most dramatically (this was very confusing when I was trying to find this event in Japanese just now), in Mahiru 3 the entire block between 'Is your class done for today'? to 'the cake in the cafeteria is delicious' is replaced by:
M - Yeah. What are you doing here?
I - I came to see your face
M - Wow! I'm so happy!
I - Wait, really?
M - No, I was joking.
I - I figured
M - Well, it sounds like you're at a loose end, so
They then remove the entire dialogue chunk about rehashing the promise, then after that is some additional missable dialogue about how she wants to experience Granvania cooking and Itsuki doesn't know what a patissier is, before going back to agreeing to go for the cake to improve their bond.
Different presents for Itsuki – Happens during Update VII
PK Note: To start with, there’s a part where the Star Maidens are giving Itsuki their presents and Mahiru talks like she’s giving one of her own, but doesn’t. I figured it was a mistranslation and that Mahiru was trying to imply that she pitched in for one of the gifts.
M: Itsuki, happy birthday. I hope you like my present too.
I: It’s not going to kill me, is it?
R: All right. I’m next. Here’s something from me. You don’t have to force yourself to like it. Oh… But please water it.
Polsy: Yeah, Japanese Mahiru just says 'present' here, no ownership implied (and no 'too' either). She's probably meant to be talking about the bear still.
Additionally, Conception Plus cut a line earlier in this scene, before Yuzuha says 'oh...thought so', where Mahiru yells at Itsuki for not being enthusiastic enough (yes, on top of the "you're supposed to look happier" earlier).
PK Note: Polsy also found that the gifts that the Maidens give Itsuki look different in the original PSP version of the game.
Mahiru takes credit for something she didn't do - This happens during the story portion of Update IX
PK Note: This happens during the scene in Update IX where Mahiru declares that she's brought some helpers for Farun at the tavern. Only problem is that Narcisstes is the one that convinced the Maidens to go and help out at the tavern. Itsuki/Mirei/Reone are already headed to the tavern to help Farun by the time that Mahiru appears in the scene.
Polsy: Interestingly there is an edit just before here but it doesn't make this line better, it makes less sense if anything.
After Tarua says she has to go (actually she says 'I'll definitely help out next time' but it's inconsequential either way)
- Reone shows up and tells Tarua to make sure she looks where she's running, so she doesn't run headfirst into a wall like the last time
- Tarua says 'yeah, I know' and runs offscreen, followed by the sound of shattering glass
- Mirei then shows up to say 'She never learns'
- Tarua reappears to say 'Ha ha, at least it wasn't a wall this time', then runs off again.
- then Mana finally gets to say 'She’s full of energy, as always', then end scene
Mahiru never appears here and Reone and Mirei are clearly still with Itsuki, so Mahiru definitely isn't responsible for anybody being there.
Another example of a "Mahiru Cut" - Happens near the start of Update X
PK Note: This happens immediately in Update X, after Mahiru wakes Itsuki up and drags him out for rumor hunting. When they get to the Granvania streets, they seem to already be halfway through their conversation.
Polsy: Yes - in original Conception this scene starts with Mahiru saying 'There was something I realized after'. There's a cut just after 'Today, we solve the mystery of the headmaster's room' where Itsuki is extremely reluctant to join in with this and Mahiru subsequently drops a huge guilt trip on him about her having to go alone and missing this opportunity to increase their bond while (very) slowly walking out of the door. Eventually Itsuki gives in and she says to herself 'ha, he's so easy to manipulate'. Doesn't really work with "nice Mahiru".
Example of dialogue changes between Conception PSP and Conception Plus - Happens during Bonding Update XVI
PK Note: This happens in Mahiru's summary. It's an example of the kind of random rewriting that seems to have been done for Mahiru in Plus.
Polsy: Honestly the parts where they just rewrite a whole block of dialogue are less weird than when they just change a line or two and it's like why even bother. Just for a quick example, in the first scene on the field, it's identical until Itsuki shows up, then--
I have no idea what that middle section was added for other than 'yes, Mahiru is popular in case the first half of the scene didn't clue you in.
An explanation on why "Visitor" is used in the anime, instead of "God's Gift"
PK Note: This is a reference to the first anime update. The game refers to Itsuki and Mahiru as "God's Gifts", the same as Wake in CII. However, the anime calls Itsuki and Mahiru "Visitors".
Polsy: Visitor is a valid if rather abbreviated translation - really it has fancier implications. "God's Gift", like Classmating, was an invention of the translators for Conception 2 and carried over into Conception Plus. Amusingly the reverse also applies, in Japanese Conception 2 Wake is also referred to as 'Visitor' even though it doesn't really make sense.
Between this, Sola, Liris, and anything else it's kind of curious that they didn't actually have anyone on the game translation team (assuming it had progressed that far) review it for terminology. Crunchyroll streams are officially licensed so they would certainly have been aware.
Polsy talks about how Mahiru's final bonding event plays out slightly different
PK Note: This is one of Mahiru's final bonding events. Specifically, it's the one where she goes to Itsuki's room and cooks for him, only for Mahiru to get drunk and pass out from the wine used in the food. The ending is quite a bit more suggestive compared to the Plus version.
Polsy mentions that the dialogue is a lot more suggestive, with Mahiru waking up in the morning and talking about "looking at Itsuki's sleeping face", being really tired out "after all that", not having slept much, and "Not having any regrets" when Itsuki gets a little apprehensive about something they did. Mahiru also directly states that she has loved Itsuki "since long ago" in this version. It's a lot more direct than what we get in the English version of Plus.
Slight clarification on Character Profiles
PK Note: Finding videos of the Japanese versions of the game(s) for smaller details, like the character profiles, was more difficult. However, Polsy did manage to find some of them and made some notes on the terms used.
Polsy wrote:
For Arie: Defiance is more literally 'going against teachings' so yeah, probably the church thing. Preacher is more literally 'spreads teachings', so, right, it's probably meant to be non-aggressive.
For Farun: Boorish would probably be better than 'senseless', she probably gets a lot of that in a bar though I'm not sure why it'd be the last unlock particularly.
For Alfie: her dislike is indeed specifically 'romantic' love, but yes, regardless of how you take that it seems kind of weird when you just went through her final bond event. More usefully, 'straight' should actually be 'straightforward'.
Itsuki randomly quoting 19th-century American poets
PK Note: This happens in Update XIX, where Itsuki is meeting with the Star Maidens and trying to reassure them (also possibly saying secret goodbyes to them because he's about to die). During Arie's event, Itsuki (badly) quotes a 19th-century American poet and acts like it's just a common saying back on Sora.
Polsy: I did not like my chances of finding a thing which requires a) someone to actually finish the game and b) happen to record the correct one of a limited-run event. But, I got lucky here. This is even more surprising because it's only three in the PSP game, matching the maximum 3 events per week.
Anyway - he says their (he says "Star God's and Airi's" rather than just "Star God's") protection is like giving a metal rod to a demon - ie, making him even stronger - not so much poetry as a common idiom. Of course, this also makes the followup line make more sense.